peperomint:

nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite

gotitforcheap:

now we’re getting into some more advance Dad Aesthetics 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

sadstagram:

which is messier my life or my hair

khaleesri:

"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of genotypes. I am Gregor Mendel. 

taylorpinkman

capnpea:

How did Skype become the most popular IM and call application when it is possibly the most ornery and broken software I have ever willingly interacted with

tapdancers:

wwehs:

how to be an adult

im sad this was so short because he was about to go so hard